Well it’s about fucking time. I mean this news is great and all, but seriously Capcom why so long. And don’t give me your “Marvel license” legal matters, blah blah bullshit. However, it does relieve me to see some new features added. Even if they’re not that great. All we ever really needed was an online mode. Though I’m sure I’ll get wins against the Ken/Akuma/Ryu fags who will undoubtedly give up in about a week, I dread the day when I’m forced to go up against a Mag/Sent/Storm combo which usually indicates Oz-style rape. I may have to wait until the summer for this to come out, but rather than having to complain about it not being here, I can safely say that it’s coming and for right now that’s good enough.

One of Kojima’s podcasts with his studio Kojima Productions (I know you had a better name than that, but that’s fine) indicated that they could push Zone of the Enders 3 up on the KP priority list. However they need gamer input to get that ball moving along. Really? It’s like you’re asking people not to let you make the game. I’m not sure the mainstream knows what the hell Zone of the Enders is, and probably all the bright colors just confused the fuck out of most people, but still, the series has been solid and should be continued. I’m happy to see that Kojima genuinely seems to want to move on from Metal Gear Solid to another solid series and I truly hope they get this going. Therefore, I need people to assemble on the Kojima Productions message board and let my your voice be heard.

So it has come to my attention that Iceman, proud defender of such fruity games as Lumines and Rez, has decided to call out the undisputed king of Headshot Jacob P. Galvatron for playing FIFA 09. However, like Jesus, I knew this betrayal would come, thus I have not been caught ill-prepared. I present to the jury Exhibit A, Iceman’s documented expedition into a local CVS in which he purchased, without a second thought, the entire Gundam Wing VHS collection. Now Gundam Wing’s inherent homosexual undertones are well known throughout the community, and VHS has been obsolete for years. Would you take a guy who would buy such a gay series, on such a gay format, seriously? I didn’t think so.

Now I present Exhibit B, Iceman’s heritage. For those who didn’t know Iceman is half hispanic, and nothing is more popular among hispanics than soccer(well maybe tequila). This is akin to me hating on Iceman for playing Madden, or for ordering a 10pc bucket from Popeye’s, it just doesn’t make sense. He even refers to it as soccer, whereas any self respecting hispanic person will argue for days about how soccer is “the REAL football holmes” and American football should be called handball or some shit. Would you take the accusations of a man, who selfishly rejected his own culture(he doesn’t even bump reggaeton) seriously? I didn’t think so.

Now that I have effectively broken the feeble backbone of the FIFA-gate case like that mexican did to Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby, I will now address the plaintiff directly. Iceman, the Brute to my Caesar, the Judas to my Jesus Shuttlesworth, I am saddened that it had to come to this. Yet I am a forgiving king, and I am willing to look past this treachery and move forward with the Team Headshot movement because of our long, enduring friendship(and the fact that you pay for the server).

-JPG

Now, I normally embrace a variety of games, that’s just me. I’m open to a fairly wide variety of games, including games that some might call exotic. However my counterpart, JPG, is not so forgiving to such an attitude, “hating” on these sort of games. But I ask you the reader to look upon the topic image and, no, that is not photoshop. That’s right, the guy who hates on games like Rez HD, is playing FIFA, a soccer game.  Seriously? I mean really? Soccer? JPG, I’ve only been out of the Xbox 360 scene since Tuesday and you’ve already tarnished Team Headshot’s overgrown ego. Stay tuned to the site for a congressional style hearing on the matter.

On April 13th, at approximately 5:34 pm, “Tania”, my Xbox 360 passed away after more than 2 years of life. It had as good a death as any Xbox could ask for, freezing right in the midst of a heated battle in Call of Duty World at War on the map Makin. It will be survived by myself, JPG and the rest of the Headshot night crew, who will all no doubt find themselves struggling for 3 to 4 weeks before her brother “Notoriously F.A.T.” arrives.

Lets all take a moment of silence and reminisce on all the good times we’ve had together..