Ah, Elite Beat Agents, how you soiled my Nintendo DS. As the box art indicates, this was apart of Nintendo’s Touch Generation games, a series of Nintendo games that extensively used the stylus and DS’ touch capabilities. Now you may be asking “why all the hatred iceman?” I’ll tell you why, it’s because it’s a rhythm game, but the true sin comes from it being a shitty rhythm game. The music, the gameplay, the characters, all FUCKING AWFUL. Now, let’s not get it twisted, the game is still functional and will be loved by those who are into Nintendo’s off the beaten path games, but trying to tap small little circles at a precise moment on a screen that’s about half the size of my palm makes playing the game as irritating as rubbing your ass on some poison ivy. The music is licensed but it’s done by other singers. If you thought ‘YMCA’ by the Village People was an affront to your ears before, it only gets worse when a guy who sounds like Luther Vandross on crack sings it instead.

It made me happy to walk into a local Toys R Us and find about 10 new copies of the game all discounted to about $5 and still gathering dust. Please don’t get this game, other reviews may tell you otherwise, but it’s not good. It’s short and gets boring very quickly. Seriously, Elite Beat Agents, you suck.

…oh and ‘The Inspiration’ by Chicago, really? Ugh.